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It's
all about spice
BY: Mandi Shoem
"Swinging"
can be defined as freely engaging in social and sexual intercourse
with someone other than your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend,
excluding dating. Many people call it recreational or social
sex. "Swinging" may occur at a swing party, a
foursome between two couples, a discreet rendezvous, or
between a couple and single for a threesome. Although many
single men and women are involved, the majority of active
swingers are couples.
"Swing
Clubs" are one of the best ways to get started in "swinging".
There are many different types of "Swing Clubs"
and "Swingers Groups". You can find them online
and offline. Some charge and some are free. The online "Swingers
Clubs" come in the form of personals, message boards,
and even chat rooms. The offline "Swingers Clubs"
can be anything from a group of swingers that meet in a
private home to a full scale, full service club with hot
tubs, lounges, bars, and sex rooms. Some swingers groups
and clubs meet in local hotels or bars. Off-premise clubs
are for meeting other swingers only. If you want to have
sex with anyone, you must make arrangements to meet somewhere
else. On-premise clubs have locations for you to engage
in sex with the members or guests of the club or group.
"Swinging"
allows couples to discover fantasies and desires as a team,
enabling a greater understanding of sex which in turn permits
sex to take a role in the relationship uninhibited by the
usual ties to monogamy, gender roles and other boundaries
assumed by couples.
"The
Lifestyle", for many couples, increases happiness and
contentedness in their relationship as well as a better
awareness of themselves and their spouse. Many couples in
the lifestyle also report more closeness, less role playing,
and a more equal partnership.
"Jealousy"
can be a harsh reality in The Lifestyle. Both men and women
should be on guard, as they could become jealous as soon
as their swinging fantasy becomes a reality and they watch
as their spouse begin to fondle or even flirt with another
person. Many couples are able to work through the jealousy
and get to a place where they really enjoy swinging.
"Swingers"
can be found in every race and profession. All levels of
education and ethnicities are present. Most swingers, however,
are Caucasian, middle to upper middle socio-economic class,
and married. Both married and unattached "swingers"
often tend to be venturous, sophisticated, and social creatures.
Most single women who join swing clubs find them to be a
revitalizing substitute for the usual bar scene.
"Women
Swingers" have a role that has been greatly evolving
over the past 30 or 40 years in swinging. It is not only
common, but often times expected that women take the assertive
role in choosing "sex partners" and setting boundaries
and limits. Swinging allows women and men to explore alternate
sex-roles.
"Male
Swingers", whether married or single, often find The
Lifestyle to be an amazing experience. Although women usually
lead in "The Swinging Lifestyle", the man is often
the one to introduce their wives and/or girlfriends to The
Lifestyle. Often, men that are not active in The Lifestyle
would be if only they could find a partner who was ready
and willing. Guilt also plays a factor in stopping men and
women alike from swinging.
"Bi
Women" or "Bisexual Women" are becoming more
and more common in The Lifestyle. While the popularity of
"Bi Men" is also growing, it is growing at a much
slower pace and heterosexuals are still the primary type
of swingers in The Lifestyle.
Many
new swingers try "soft swinging" first, often
times, without even intending on becoming swingers. A little
alcohol between close, attractive friends is sometimes all
it takes to spontaneously spark the swinging bug. "Soft
Swinging" can include flirting with someone other than
your partner, but only have sex with your partner. "Hard
Swinging" comes into play when "sex partners"
are exchanged or shared.
Rules
are often set between partners prior to "swinging".
"No means No" is a rule that ALL swingers should
follow. But other rules can be set about respect, jealousy,
privacy, and even code words or signs.
"Swinging"
can be a terrific experience for all involved. Just remember
to do your best to respect everyone's feelings and wishes.
Happy Swinging!
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