Ever have one of those days?....I have one of those lives!!!!!!

All in all...I really don't think that I really ask for TOO MUCH out of life....a warm bed, a roof over my head, three meals a day....and a little "nookie" every now and then. That's really all that I have ever asked for....But, apparently...the very first time the good lord took a look at me....he ( or she ) must have said...."Don't really know what it is, but theres just something about you boy, that PISSES me off!" LOL

Now, I don't want this to sound like I am ungrateful for all the things I have......or that these are the "musings" of a "perpetual whiner"....because that is definitely NOT the case! ( Well, ok so maybe the "Whiner" part hits pretty darn close to the mark.....but I really do TRY to keep all the "pissing and moaning" to an absolute minimum...HONEST I DO!! LOL )

Anyway...here is just one of MANY MANY "examples" of what I am talking about...so that YOU can be the judge! YOU tell me....is this just "normal everyday life"....or has the "big guy" ( or gal) really got a grudge against me?????????????

Mid January 1984...went out on a date with my girlfriend ...on the way home...we got caught up in a blinding snow storm. When I dropped her off at her parents house...they INSISTED that I "spend the night"...rather than try to drive home in the storm.

I called my parents to let them know what is going on, and to let them know where I was, just in case they tried to call my apartment or something....and retired to the "guest room"....better known as the "living room couch"! I knew it was going to take me a while to fall asleep..being in a strange house like that and all....plus the fact that visions of my girlfriend in her filmy "nightie" were still "fresh on my mind"!! But I snuggled down under the blankets and eventually began to doze.....

I had just about fallen asleep...when I began to hear noises...and suddenly had the feeling that someone else was in the room with me...hidden in the dark shadows somewhere! Just about the time, that I felt something touch my shoulder....the grandfather clock struck one am...and I nearly jumped out of my hide!! Suddenly the beautiful face of my girlfriend appeared before me, in the very dim light coming in the windows from a street lamp.... she held one finger in front of her mouth as a signal to me to "hush"!

Then she bent down close to my ear and whispered...."want to come to my room and snuggle? I'm horny and I cant sleep, especially knowing that you are out here on the couch. We'll have to be quiet, but my parents are heavy sleepers..so I think we'll be alright, as long as you are back on the couch in the morning"

Needless to say...she didnt have to ask me twice!!!!

We sneaked down the hallway..and into her bedroom...quietly closed the door and reached for each other in the darkeness! I was suprised to find that she was ALREADY NAKED..as we embraced! With her help...soon..I too was just as naked as the day I was born.

We slipped into bed and kissed and cuddled for a good long time....I have to admit that it felt wonderful...the way our naked bodies felt, next to each other...my hard dick brushing against her soft vagina ...her firm breasts pressed against my chest...was almost more than I could stand! But every time I tried to gain "entrance" through the "gates of heaven"..she would pull "the prize" away!

Finally..she whispered in my ear.."PLEASE...GO easy...I have only done this ONE other time!!! PROMISE me that you will pull out so that I dont get pregnant!!!!!"

WOW! THAT stopped me right in my tracks! Here I am...locked in a loving naked embrace with a beautiful girl that has just told me that she is practically a virgin! This is EVERY MAN"S DREAM COME TRUE...RIGHT?...RIGHT?....so explain to me then...why I suddenly felt the need to PANIC!!!!!! LOL

IF ONLY I had listened to my "inner voice" at that very moment...it might have saved me from a LOT of trouble and embarrassment later on.....but..NOOOOOOOO....I was naked, she was naked, my dick was hard...she had said yes....."Fuck that inner voice"......I'm going for it!!!! LOL

I was very gentle and loving as I entered her...gritting my teeth and hoping like hell that I could "last" long enough to get it all the way in! I slowly and carefully worked my dick in and out as I gained new ground with every few strokes...once I was "in to the hilt"..I began to work my throbbing dick in and out in every increasing strokes...trying to make sure that she was getting as much clitoral stimulation as I could manage from that position...soon..it became apparent that my "attention to detail" was working...she began to toss her head back and forth and moan...getting louder and louder each time..her body was thrashing against mine...faster and faster!

Soon she was moaning loud enough that I was afraid that her parents might hear us....so I whispered to her that we needed to keep quiet...but she just kept moaning and thrashing...so I stopped everything that I was doing.......hoping that she would listen to me then..and quiet down.....but she didnt...she just kept thrashing and moaning..thashing and moaning!!!! Her moans became louder and louder each time....her thrashing became more and more violent!!!

To be honest....SHE was scarring the hell out of me!!! I knew that I didnt have a whole lot of experience with women....but if this was a full blown ORGASM...then I wasnt sure if I knew how to handle it!!!

Suddenly...I had OTHER problems to worry about....Her bedroom door flew open...and her parents came running into the room...saying something about "she's having another siezure"...just about the time the bedroom lights came on!

I really dont know who was more suprised and shocked...me....when I suddenly realized that I had just been caught buck ass naked...by the girls parents....with my dick inside their daughter....WHILE she was having a full blown epileptic siezure.....or her parents....when they flipped on that bedroom light and was greeted by the sight of their daughters boyfriend naked butt shining back at them!!

Needless to say....I grabbed up a blanket to cover myself and headed for the nearest corner...both to get out of their way..so that they could tend to their daughter...and also to be out of arms reach...should her father decide to beat me to a pulp!

Luckily....they were more concerned about their daughter...than they were about beating up her boyfriend at that particular moment...so I managed to slip past them and back down the hall to the living room, and safety...at least for now!

About the same time as I was breathing a sigh of relief....that I had escaped death at the hand of an irate father....I could hear sirens in the distance...getting louder and louder!! My first thought was...OMG..they have called the cops and I am going to go to jail for raping their daughter!!! I began to frantically search for my clothes....and suddenly realized that they were still on the floor of her bedroom...along with my wallet and car keys!! Like it or not....I was BUSTED!! I just knew that at any moment....the cops were going to come in....put me in cuffs and drag me off to jail...stark naked...and put me in a cell with some 7' 9" 350lb guy named "Bubba"...with bad teeth, a 12" cock and a "THING" for "PRETTY BOYS"....or something to that effect!

About the time that I was convinced that..I was going to be somebodies "jailhouse bitch" for the night....the front door opens and in walks two paramedics!! They both look at me with puzzled looks on thier faces and ask..."Did YOU call for an ambulance"...Are YOU the patient?..We were told the patient is a 20 year old female having a siezure!"

I meekly point down the hallway toward my girlfriends bedroom door...which opened about that same time....and we could hear my girlfriends mother say...."Down here, down here..."

I sat down on the couch, and hung my head in dejectedly...Just HOW in the hell did things get THIS fucked up...this fast!!!! I wondered. LOL

What had started out as a wonderful date..had now ended up as some sort of sexual horror story....and it was NOT over yet! I am still naked.....my clothes and car keys are still at "the crime scene" ...there is 6"-10" of snow on the ground and its at least 15 miles to my apartment! Plus...I just know that I still have to "face the wrath" of her parents....when things calm down again!

Finally...one of the paramedics came back out...carrying my clothes...he handed them to me with a big grin on his face and said..." Don't worry...she is going to be just fine....she's awake and a little "groggy" right now...but she will be just fine!

I took my clothes from him as he said..."her parents thought you might need these...and that under the circumstances....you might want to go on home now.....

I didn't have to be told twice............................

So...as you can see....life has not been necessarily kind to me over the years!! If THIS had been the only isolated incident....I might just laugh it off and say it was just a "comedy of errors"..to put it politely...or to say "shit happens" to put it bluntly! LOL

But that was just one of MANY....

Remind me to tell you some time....about the time I went to a "LIVE NUDE GIRLS" strip club...walked into the dark club, after being out in the bright sunshine...fumbled around in the dark..waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dim light...finally found a seat right up next to the stage....had a fist full of dollar bills in hand and was just starting to admire the many talents of the naked girl laying on the stage in front of me...legs behind her head...showing her opened pussy to each guy as she slowly rotated to give everyone a good view....and how I nearly had a heart attack...right then and there...when I suddenly realized...after oogling her nice open pink pussy...BEFORE I looked up at the girls face..That the pussy that I had just admired so much and the beautiful face and body that went together as a package...belonged to none other than MY BROTHERS DAUGHTER !!!!!! I had just drooled all over myself...while looking at my NAKED NIECE on stage at a strip club!!!!! Don't think THAT episode didnt lead to a few uncomfortable moments and a nightmare or two, for the both of us!!

Or how about the time I tried to "hook up" with a couple from an "alternative lifestyles site"....seemed safe enough.....they lived a good hours drive away....sounded like they were a little kinky...but promised to be "safe and sane" with everything they liked to do.....made arrangements to meet them at a mall near their "home".....when I got there to the mall...the "COUPLE" that I was to meet...the ones that were "into light bondage"..the couple where the wife wanted to "tie me up and "DO ME" with a strap-on while the hubby watched and jacked off".....the couple that was SUPPOSED to live an HOURS drive away....was actually a "prominant government official and his wife"...from my own home town!!!! They were actually just "house sitting" for some friends, in this other city...and decided to get "kinky" and put the house to good use, while the owners were gone for a couple of months!!

Ok..you tell me....Bad timing...bad luck..or the "big guy" out to get me!! LOL...........