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All Kinds Of Sex LOL
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All Kinds Of Sex LOL
Pension Sex
Two men were talking. 'So, how's your sex life?'
'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.'
'Pension sex?' 'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!'
LOUD SEX
A wife went to see a therapist and said, 'I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.'
'My dear,' the shrink said,'that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.'
'The problem is,' she complained, 'It wakes me up!'
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?' She glanced at him and replied,'You're never home!'
ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yelled,'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'.'
'Yeah,' she replies,'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'
WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said,'This will make you happy tonight.'
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
ELDERLY SEX
One night, an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo and found her 92 year old husband in the bed with another woman. She became violet and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on the charge of murder. The judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly,'Yes, your Honor. I figured that at 92, if he could have sex......He could also fly.'
lmao lmao xoxo Shirley
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RE: All Kinds Of Sex.... LOL
I got some , lets see if yall can come up with some more too!!!!
YOUNGER SEX
when you try to either fit in the tub together or front or back seat of car, or even the couch, and relize you too grew a lil,...
QUICKIE SEX
when you both have to get up early for work, or when the kids run out to store for a minute, you find any way to do it as quick as possible!!!! lol
COCK BLOCKING SEX,lol
when your kids are yelling for you outside the door while your trying, or they are fighting in the next room, or even the dog or cats putting there paws under the door crying for you to open it, thats some cock blocking people there boy!!!
HAVEING SEX SOMEWHERE , SO YOU CAN JUST SAY YOU HAD SEX THERE!!! lol
like in a plane , a dressing room at a store, a car parked late at night insome strangers driveway or down long road, heres a good one men love them damn elavators, i've even had my hubby ask if we could do it on the elavator in the hospital,....i told him he was nuts, then at his own dads funeral he didn't mean it seriously, but he even said to make us laugh, if i don't say it , it wouldn't be me,....."ya wanna go in the sound proof baby crying room and have sex????? i just busted out laughing and crying , we gave each other a big hug and just sat there, so strange places keri :eek:
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RE: All Kinds Of Sex.... LOL
lmao thanks Ladies! |
RE: All Kinds Of Sex.... LOL
i know sharon they are good huh, hey you come up with some now!!!!! i'll bet they will be good!!!! keri :sexywink: |
RE: All Kinds Of Sex.... LOL
Those made me laugh LOL
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RE: All Kinds Of Sex.... LOL
Love those Shirley!!
Dale
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RE: All Kinds Of Sex.... LOL
I might have said that to Clark,"You want me on top....Well here I am!!!" But it wasn't with a walker!!! lmao Good one Dale kisses Shirley |
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