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Farwell thanks and goodgye
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Farwell thanks and goodgye
Hello to everyone
By my calendar, my full membership to ST will expire at the end of the day on July 5, 2011. If you are interested in the reasons why I will not be renewing the membership, please feel free to read on.
First of all, I would like to extend my personal and sincere thanks to the small, very small handful of considerate and courteous people on ST who have extended their warm wishes and friendship during the year I spent on here. Specifically, Gin, Sharon, Gary, jo26dale34 and bbw1 have been kind enough to acknowledge I exist and actually occasionally correspond. As for the remainder of virtually all of the ST community, I can only say tsk, tsk, tsk.
I first joined ST with absolutely no expectations or preconceptions regarding what my "experience" would be. I simply thought it would be interesting to find out and to actually get together with willing women or couples for friendship and whatever else might evolve. My experience has been more than disappointing -- frustrating and downright aggravating would be two alternative descriptions that are a better fit.
I have never had and still don't have any difficulties making friends anywhere EXCEPT on ST. Collectively I have never been exposed to a group of more self-inflated, self-admiring bunch anywhere in the universe. I really mean that. In the beginning, I knew actually "hooking up" with a woman or couple was a stretch goal to say the least. As a single male "lurking about" in a swinging community, I had no reason to expect much more. If "it" happened, "it" happened. But I did not expect to be met with so much negativity, presumption and in a few cases, aggression.
At first, I was encouraged by Gin, Shirley and Sharon to be patient. I am not sure how "patience" would be defined in the realm of swinging, but I figure being "patient" for one year is plenty enough. I am not the type of person to simply sit and wait for things to come to me. That is simply too unrealistic in an environment like this. I took a VERY pro-active approach to the whole thing and extended myself to many, many, many members always being careful to only approach people in accordance with their wishes as expressed in their profiles.
I have believed from the beginning that my true "problem" is I am a bona fide victim of a very good upbringing. I am respectful, courteous and never presumptuous about whom I am or what people might see in me. I am clearly not as delusional over myself as many I have encountered on this site.
Following are a few of my observations. I realize they are one-sided opinions, and will no doubt be disagreed with by many -- maybe most. But they are as objective as possible under the circumstances and in light of my unwelcoming. Maybe these observations will help future single males who actually believe they have a chance of meeting someone, anyone on the ST site; I doubt it. My observations are:
1) Single males are wasting their time and money on the ST site, particularly those who are a little older. Of course, there are obviously going to be exceptions to this and to those who have had a different experience, I simply tip my hat and offer my congratulations. I am so amused by one gentleman who constantly writes about his perpetual "successes" in the swinging community. Only on him, I call bullshit! Paraphrasing his constant forum contributions, there is not a woman or couple he hasn't screwed; there is nothing he hasn't done; there is no secret he doesn't know; and there is no ST member that can resist his talents and charms. Bullshit. Take a look at his photos, understand his thought processes and the true motivation behind his braggadocio becomes easy to read. If this is the type of person swingers want and desire, then I am so glad I never fit in.
2) As a group, swingers are maybe the most closed-minded of all societal groups in this country. I anticipated that swingers, because of their pastimes and apparent interests, would be very open-minded. Hence, I thought it might be worth a try to become an accepted part of that line of thinking. What I learned instead is most swingers are merely part of or hoping to be part of a closed clique. Amazingly that isn't any different than any other lifestyle or interest group, so I'm still wondering: what really is the difference between a swinger and a non-swinger? Nothing much that I can see. The only true difference is what the group professes to be interested in. I mean the church clique that organizes the annual pancake dinner is interested in pancakes and swingers are interested in sex with people outside their more intimate relationships. Some are interested in making friends; most are not by my assessment. But as the cliques are developed and new members of each clique evolve, they are being accepted into a group that generally sees everyone else as unwelcome outsiders. Swinging and making friends can be a simultaneous occurrence in the lifestyle, but you can bet "friendship" generally is not going to even begin to develop without the probability of sex as a first and primary element and considered potential. "Friendship first" is the credo of many on here that just is a misleading, secondary guise to their true underlying attitudes and expectations.
3) MOST profiles on ST are very misleading and MOST are the product of people who are just fooling around or faking their legitimacy. I cannot believe the number of "no responses" I had at times I extended a hand of friendship or responded specifically to the expressed interests listed in profiles. It was unbelievable and nothing like I have encountered in any other walk of life.
4) A couple's rules change to meet whatever is on their mind at the time. Their rules aren't rules at all in many cases. My apologies to those of you to which this observation does not apply. To those of you it does apply, do yourself a favor and don't say something is a rule if it isn't. When a couple says they are interested in meeting single males, please be interested in meeting single males. I had one experience in which the female half of a couple contacted me and lured me into some friendly discussion -- strictly friendly. The couple says they are interested in meeting single males. There was never even a hint of sex in our discussions and I always acknowledged the male. Suddenly, the correspondence stopped and I was told that the male half didn't like me corresponding with "only" the woman. Unbelievable. I'm not sure what the hell that was all about, but at the times preceding that surprising and sudden proclamation, I had actually addressed correspondence strictly to the male, he ignored me completely. Their rule change should be: "Don't ever write to the female even if she approaches you because we are not really interested in single males -- even respectful, nice, interesting and decent-looking ones. We only say we are to create the image of being a loving progressive couple when we really are not."
6) If you would like to have a chance at achieving some of the things you say you would like to accomplish, then be sincere about what you want and try giving someone a chance for a change. How else are you going to ever get what you want instead of the bad experiences you are afraid of.
I would like to thank ST and all ST members for the experience I have had. We can all learn from our experiences, no matter how fulfilling or un-fulfilling they happen to be. And I would like to extend a parting apology, one last time, for all of the asshole single males on this site who are making it impossible for the decent ones to ever have an even chance of success. Frankly if I were on ST as a part of a couple, the first thing in our profile would be "ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE MALES. IT JUST IS NOT WORTH THE TIME AND EFFORT BECAUSE THE UNFORTUNATE REALITY IS MOST OF YOU ARE UGLY, ARROGANT SHITHEADS"
Farewell ST members and happy swinging. Thanks again,
Jer
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RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
WOW Sweetie, as Gary stated, I'm not really sure how to process your words but I do feel unsettled that you are leaving. I will say that you have always been non changing and true to yourself as well as what you have been seeking, for that I THANK YOU as it can be so very easy to go with what is popular and not stand up in challenge.
You have always intrigued me as you do not go with the flow but actually think for yourself and I like that. I can't for the life of me understand why you have not made a pleasing connection. The only thought that comes to mind is that maybe many shy away from you because they feel they will not meet your standards, not in your league.
I wish you the very best of luck and your presence here from time to time will certainly be missed!!!
I'm gonna make this last kiss a :bigkiss:
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
First off, I have to say I am truly going to miss your provocative, well written and substantive postings here in the forums. Your eloquence in writing and the ability to speak your mind without lowering your standards is amazingly sexy *ok, refocus* I can understand and validate a lot of the issues stated within your OP post, the cliques... close-minded, and the misleading of profiles. I have experienced a lot of the same pitfalls and unfortunately being online makes the ability to lie and inflate personalities easy; and those who are true to themselves loose out.
I do wish you well with your endeavors, and if you ever find your way remotely close to Charlotte please don't hesitate to look us up as dinner and socializing is a great thing...finding stimulating conversation awesome... a fun night that goes beyond that, always possible.
Sharon :love: |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Thank you Gary, Gin and Sharon. I have always been able to depend on you three for sure and I appreciate your understanding of me and the way I am. And thanks for the private e-mails I received from those of you who were so kind to take the time. I have responded to all received. To whomever invited me in to a private chat (THAT has never happened before), please accept my apologies for declining -- I was due in a conference call and needed to leave for a while. If you ask again, Ill happily engage in a discussion with you, provided this damned work doesn't prevent it as it did today. As a reminder, though, I'll only be available for a few more days. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Good luck out there. As sharon said in her post. If you are ever in The Charlotte area, Look us up. When I joined St I can say that I made friends fast and Sharon and I met here as singles. But as I have told Sharon, This site has totally changed from the St that I stumbled upon over 3 years ago. I feel that in this sites push to be in the mainstream of things that it has pushed out some of the coziness and appeal it used to have. Many of the couples that welcomed me into their conversations in public and on the IM in person are gone and moved on. I feel that if I joined today that I would be experiencing much of the same things as you are. And I would even go as far as saying that under this St Sharon and I may not be where we are today. She has read many of your posts and comments to me over the phone while I was driving and your input and opinions will be missed. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Sorry you are leaving ST!! But I understand.. hope you find what you're looking for!! xoxo Shirley |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
As a single guy here, I very much understand how hard it is to meet people from these sites. I found your posts interesting and will miss them. I also hope you find what your looking for.
B Bopp |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Keep the faith bro Keep the faith |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Well I've had a few :beer: :beer: 's again lol Mr peace1... Your arrogance & I'll type A few words outya own mouth... (find out and actually get together with a willing women or couples)... I'd love 2 have some free pussy dude!!! lol My first turn off, is being treated like a pimpster... I take great pride in her azz... lol Some of you single males act like there pussy's ain't never been pocked, & your gonna do all the good wiff it beca use of your presence... lol Best have one I guess!!! lol |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
See, Jerry, you should've talked to Clark, too!!!! That's what's he's saying!!! Talk to both of us, not just me!! Why can't single guys talk to my man????? Is it because they don't know what to say or what? xoxo Shirley |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Well Shirley, I did not bring up any names. However if Clark will go back and check his e-mails that I sent to him and he completely ignored, he will see that I tried to talk to him directly and he refused. I thought you folks didn't want to bring little tiffs into the forums and I tried to respect that, but I guess you or Clark want to air this out for the world to see. For those of you reading, the above marks the very first thing Clark has EVER said to me -- EVER. I thank you for your friendliness when I first joined the forums. Clark, on the other hand was anything but friendly. I will refrain from reducing myself to the same type of name calling he just exhibited and in a way he is sort of illustrating my point. I got the message loud and clear and left you alone when I figured out that he or you didn't like me answering your e-mails. So why all the bullshit and tough talk now? What's the point? I certainly hope you two don't seriously believe I am leaving ST because of you. Get serious. I am leaving for all the reasons I stated. I continue to be as respectful and polite as I always was (which you many times acknowledged in past forums) and I certainly have no hard feelings against you or Clark. But I am also not going to sit here and be brow beat by anyone including Clark if that is what he was trying to do. You also can't honestly believe such jibberish and nonsense is going to dampen my spirit or cause me to compromise the way I speak. I mean -- really. I still have no idea what he is blabbering about in his post because all I ever talked to you about was basketball, American Idol and racing. If that makes me treating a man who won't speak to me like a pimpster, then so be it. On the bottom line I kind of think some single males could hold their own in a conversation with "your man" if he would actually speak to them. The last time I wrote to him, I asked him what he thought was going to happen at Talladega. As usual, no response. At any rate, I wish you both the best and I sincerely mean that. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Very interesting post to read. You have stated your case very clearly and I agree with some of your comments. It's hard to squeeze into the crowd here at times. I am the typical "dirty old man" and I enjoy chatting with people. I have made some friends here, some of them responded to your post. But like you, I am sometimes condsidered the "single man" because my wife does not like to chat, so I am usually on here all by myself. As soon as the people know that Kat is not on, they move on. I understand that.....but it can be a little depressing at times. I too have considered dropping my membership....but something keeps me here. I like frank and open discussions on a variety of topics, and I can get that here....so I stay connect. Best of luck to you. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Nothing is more unsettling to us than singles whining about lack of play or as stated "couples that are misleading". MOST and not meaning all single men that approach couples have that "I'm all that" attitude, ignore the male of the couple and frankly, are quite rude. We've been in the lifestyle over 10 years, have been club owners and hosts in KC and other areas, so not exactly new or niave. We've stated several times and truely believe- if you don't like what you're catching, maybe you should change the bait!! |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
We feel that couples and singles can all be misleading at times. We have had far more problems with couples than single males or maybe it's that we do not allow the "clueless" single males to get under our skin or in our bed. We process a situation, state what needs to be stated and move on.
While some people, be it singles or couples do whine about the lack of connections, there are those whom do seek assistance as to why and try to make adjustments. Some seem to think all is needed is a profile and the ST will magically provide the perfect connection, simply not the case.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Well lets see if I can get my point across, I will apologize for not reading any of your post so with that I don't know you at all. I myself as a single male pride myself on being a gentleman,I try very hard to relate not only to the women but the male portion of the couple as well. When I was on the road driving I had the chance to meet the Tacks only once but my experience was great they are a very nice couple,they received me with open friendship did not have any problems at all. I truly do hope to get another chance to see them again. on that note I wish you luck in what ever avenues you choose,good luck.. SugarBear.. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Hey there, sugarbear. Thank you for your post. I am sure Shirley and Clark are wonderful, friendly people and I really have no personal qualms about them at all. But my original post wasn't about them; rather I was stating my feelings and relating some experiences here on ST. If you will notice, I didn't single them out or reference them by name in any way. My stated opinions were based on my experiences on ST as a whole, not on some isolated incident that was probably the by-product of a misunderstanding. It was very kind of you to publicly attest to your good experience with them. I am sure they appreciate your gesture even more than I do, but I hope this thread isn't reduced to a discussion of individuals as seems to happen sometimes. I would prefer that it remain on the general topic I introduced. I have read your posts in the forums for quite some time and I think you really are a considerate gentleman. The point is I am no less of a gentleman and guys like you and me are often lumped into the category that legitimately better fits single males on this site -- I am of the opinion we are the exception rather than the rule.
In spite of what has been attempted in the hi-jacking of this thread, I will stand behind and defend my behavior at all times on the ST site as being more than proper, always considerate and never presumptuous. I don't communicate via innuendo and perhaps that has gotten me labeled somehow. I don't know and frankly I don't care. Perhaps the problem is some people don't know the difference between someone who is being articulate and someone who is being arrogant. The only similarity between the two words is they both happen to begin with the letter "A." Beyond that, articulacy and arrogance are completely unrelated. (Did that sound arrogant? Wasn't meant to be; rather it was meant to be philosophical) :)
I think part of the "problem" or ill-perception can be exacerbated when a couple participates on ST via separate profiles and separate screen names. When one writes to you, what are you supposed to do -- respond to the other and vice versa? If that is the "rule," then the rule should be clearly stated in their respective profiles. Then what do you do when one writes to you, but the other won't, instead opting to remain behind the scenes while drawing erroneous and unwarranted conclusions? It all sounds a little too complicated, especially for an inexperienced person who is simply trying to be friendly, which speaks to the "changing rules" I talked about in my post.
I know the difficulties couples face with truly arrogant, pushy single males. I've talked about it for a year now in the forums. That's exactly why if I had been on here as a couple, I wouldn't have been interested in being contacted by single males -- exactly as I stated in my post.
Unlike one other forum contributor seems to think, I am not whining about the lack of attention or not being received with open arms. I certainly was not out to simply "do" some other man's wife when I joined ST. You might not believe this, but I really don't have difficulties in dating women outside the swinging lifestyle, so I don't need such a swingers' site to find my pleasure or fulfillment. I believe I adequately stated my case, my intentions and my observations in my original post and I don't think any more needs to be said.
ST has had more of a positive effect on me than a negative one because I learned a lot -- even via the little outburst in this thread. On the bottom line, I can think of far nobler things in life to hang myself so I'm not going to lose even a second's sleep over the fact that I didn't make any real friends on here during my one-year membership.
Let's all try to stay on topic if anything else is added to the thread. My time is running out and I really am interested in everyone's response and opinions.
Thanks again for your post, sugarbear, and for your well-wishes
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RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Your statement: "Perhaps the problem is some people don't know the difference between someone who is being articulate and someone who is being arrogant. The only similarity between the two words is they both happen to begin with the letter "A." Beyond that, articulacy and arrogance are completely unrelated." I can understand completely; but the ability to use words that are somewhat foreign and not commonly used tend to turn people off. Simply put, people who use big words seem to want to show off their intelligence (I for one my dad always ridiculed...Oh no, here Sharon is using the big words again). With that said, I think many people confuse arrogance and articulation with just someone whom can carry on a conversation. Years ago before my Philosophy class, I may have thought differently...but we are all good at things, some can speak and express our feelings in a more profound way than others.
Anyways... what struck me about your banter is the idea of having two profiles. I had never thought of the impression it sends to others in regards to contacting one part of the couple and not the other. With Todd and I, it is posted clearly that we are a couple and have separate IDs, and refer them in the profile so that if a person is interested in us they can check out the other one as well. We flirt separately, send email separately, and post in the forums separately... but always communicate as a couple. I never imagined that separate ID's could cause such confusion and chaos! I found it more frustrating when looking at a couple profile, but only one person is active.
Thanks for the enlightenment and different perspective...think I will have to check out Our profiles and see how interactive they are together!
Sharon :love: |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Duel profiles? The way I see it is, one house, two people, two computers, on line at the same time, and in the same place or not.
In forums, everyone sees everything. It is a place to learn, ask questions and have fun.
The same holds true for Duel profiles. Your never talking to a single person, never!
This is something I've more heard then know. You can't hit on one half of a couple, then try to convince the other half. When they compare notes, this never goes over well.
This holds true for couples looking for couples.
Oh well, we all make mistakes, lets have fun and make some mistakes together?
B Bopp
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RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
As Sharon stated, We have duel profiles here. We met on this site and both were lifetime members before we moved into together. We chose to keep each profile because our indentities were attached to each of them. As far as the jealousies associated with someone talking to either one or the other, Their is none of that with Sharon and I. She talks to single guys all the time and it does not bother me if they do not talk to me. We do play seperate from time to time and that is the only time we require a single guy to meet the both of us first. Once we are comfortable with him we have no problem with accepting him into our lives whether its both of us playing or if its only Sharon meeting him. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Good post Todd |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
My thoughts are that if a spouse feels left out because they do not get as many emails from a person as their spouse does because of dual profiles, they are in for a rude awakening when they try to have a swinging encounter.
Also, dual profiles or not, when corresponding with a couple with 2 profiles one can still address either spouse. If I want to ask Todd a question and I locate Sharon's profile first, I will contact Todd via Sharon's profile and vice versa. I don't see the big deal with 2 profiles, they are a couple and both have access to each profile.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Gary. My post was not intended to make you feel guilty. Gin is rite. If you tell me hello on Sharon's pro, She tells this to me usually while I'm driving a truck someplace. And it is the same with mine. I get people all the time that see my pro and say hello to us and I let Sharon know. She even has access to mine and has responded to people she likes. So if anyone wants to flirt with Sharon. Flirt away. She's a big girl, She can hold her own with anyone. Happy 4th to everyone here. I'm of to work all. keep the good posts coming. Will check in tonite. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Well, where do I begin?
So we are a couple with a young family and with lives besides swinging.
Sometimes we're horny and fawk like rabbits 4-5 times/day for weeks and walk around like zombies because we're sleep deprived.
And during those times, sometimes we go online or to a club in search of playmates.
We've met some good ones, some bad ones, we clicked with some and nothing happened, we got dumped, stood up and cut short on a evening out.
It happens.
And, sometimes, we have family problems, worry about our work/bills/parents/siblings, too tired from work, depressed/upset/not in any mood for sex, not in any mood for traveling/not in any mood for swinging, had a recent argument as a couple, PMS, time of the mth, had a kid all night in the emergency room to have popcorn kernels pulled out of their nose/ears, been up all night because one or all 4 kids are scik, had an accident at work, a headache, cold/flu, etc.
We've entertained the idea of a single guy, chatted and nothing developed because at some point we weren't ready and he felt leaded on.
Now, when we were single before the kids, life was simple, wake up, have coffee, go to work, have lunch/dinner, go to a movie, go on a date or spend the day naked with the date.
Our lives changed and so did our priorities, we're simply put less available than a single person would be. Have you ever tried being best friends with your friend's best friend? Now if you'd understand all this you'd know better and wouldn't be so dissapointed. We all have lives outside swinging, and, in the swinging scene, just as in other aspects of life there'd be certain affinities and dislikes, people are bound to socialize with the ones they like, and it might seem clicky.
Try and move to a new city, you'll see it will take forever to make new friends, since you don't have family, classmates, colleagues in my case, but you will make some eventually. Swinging is no different.
Just get over it, move on and stop sobbing, it's not helping you any, with/without you the sun will shine tomorrow. Nobody is gonna change their priorities for you, sorry to be the one to tell you nthis, but at the end of the day, it is about us as a couple not about bending over backwards for a single guy. Besides you're beaching about a swinging forum it's not like you're in a poly amorous relationship. Nobody owes you anything. People get cold feet all the time, get a leery feeling, change their minds, choose to jerk off instead.
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RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Well, I've been known 2 stir up shit before... lol Mr piace1, I'm not saying your a bad guy (Hell I don't know ya)... Now I'm gonna get annal on your ass Mr piace1... As!!! a couple I judge a single males conversations with my wife & how many times she is addressed with the other 1/2 incorporated... Did I spell that right???... You sent me one message 2 TatorHead2... After she said why don't you ever send Clark a message? Sir your miss taken if you think I need you in my ass!!! We don't owe you shit!!! Or anyone else here... Shit I'm just gettin started lol Shirley & I cut our teeth on single males... I never knew just how hard my old dick could get watching her get poked wiff some new dickage lol 24unga said it best!!!, If you can't get 2 know my husband, Then what the hell makes you think your gonna get 2 know me!!!? Anyways I asked for your private pics... & You sent me the same ones... Shirley & I don't get shined up for stumpage... lol It takes more than big words my friend... I've said this before & I'll live or die by them words... Some of you single males are single for a reason... Shirley,? You ready fooo one lol :rose: |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Sounds to us just like another Single M needing some cheese with his whine! LOL! You hear it on every website- the "poor mistreated, misunderstood blue fishies". Sorry to say, but there's more disrespectful ones out there than the good ones. We have met some nice, polite ones, but they are getting rare. And what is the assumption that IF we did want a Sgl M for an encounter that is because I am inadequate for her???? We have all but excluded singles(M and F) from our shopping list for now. Agree with Tatorhead and have a similiar quote "...if you don't like what your catching, change your bait...." |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
The Vanilla world seems to think that swinging in general is done because one or both are not getting what is needed at home, that the sex between a couple is inadequate.
I agree that there are people in the lifestyle who know nothing of respect and this includes each category..... males, females and couples.
The single male who created this thread has ALWAYS been respectful....whining? maybe but I took it as stating his final case before choosing to depart.
We will forever include single males in our swinging encounters, yes we must weed through the ones who do not have a clue but we simply view it as an avenue we must take to get to where we are going.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
It looks like I am reaching the end of my rope today.
Yes I will be leaving ST at the end of the day, much to the utter delight of at least one man who is more interested in publicly trying to put me down and proclaiming his erroneous belief that I have been merely out to fuck his wife rather than to become friends with both of them. I am not sure how he ever came to that conclusion, but I KNOW some of the things he said about me are simply wrong. For some reason he has an indisputable aversion to someone who uses "big" words. Until now, I didn't realize that using proper grammar and having an average vocabulary equates to using "big" words to piss someone off or to exhibit a condescending attitude. In most walks of life, they don't. So I guess my response to Tator should simply be: Tough shit. Why don't you have another beer and try to read a comic book in one sitting if you think you can do it without automatically thinking one of the comic characters simply wants to fuck your wife? You won't find one thing said in any of my correspondence to your wife that even remotely hinted at having sex with her. The fact is she wrote to me; I wrote back; and we occasionally corresponded thereafter about non-sexual activities the two of you liked. While you're at it, you should try to also learn how to count. Now I understand why you think EVERY man just wants to hump and go. Single males collectively have created that type of image, but that is not me. Most important, I find no sense of loss whatsoever that you choose to not like me. And Tator man, much to your chagrin, I get laid plenty enough without needing to be with your wife. You might not believe it, but there really are many women who actually like a man who is by nature classy enough to be chivalrous and doesn't mind a "big" word now and then. You might also be surprised, but if you look with an open, rather than closed mind, you'll discover there really is a functioning world outside your swinging universe. If my visiting the ST site makes me a misfit, then a proud misfit I am.
To those of you who decided strictly on your own that my farewell amounted to the pathetic whining of a poor, unwanted single male, I simply offer that you have not taken the time to understand what I was saying like other, more objective ST members did. But then again, you are some of those closed-minded swingers to whom I referred in my original post. I harbor no ill-feelings toward any of you, including Tator. You are free to draw any conclusions you wish and certainly to play or not play with anyone you choose. That is not and never was my goal or my point.
I appreciate ALL the responses to this thread. I found the past few days to be the most interesting of all my time combined on ST. Thanks for all the different opinions, suggestions and the well-wishes I received. Good luck to EVERYONE on ST and now it's time for me to move on................ |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
And your point is?
Attacking someone on an open forum no mater for what reason is to say the least TACKY. You could've sent him an email instead of bringing out the dirty laundry.
Getting butthurt over being rejected shows what a sore looser you are. Bragging about all the sex you're having with your single friends doesn't show any chivalry. Not being able to bring one of your dates into the lifestyle shows that you're superficial enough for the poor girl not to trust that you're really into her. Being single and seeking sex on a swinger forum could denote you lead a busy life or can't get a date any other way.
Sorry I don't feel like begging you to stay or offering you my Mrs. as a consolation prize for your repeated rejections on ST.
So you hit it off with the wife and the Mr. didn't approve of you. It happens, Lu likes a man, I like the girl, however I don't feel at ease that if shit happens I'd be able to take him down. Her safety comes first and, I don't like being vulnerable, I don't like leaving my wife vulnerable.
And then's the black guy thing: while we were dating, she admired a guy that walked by. He was good looking, however I felt inadequate, because being white I just can't compete with him. And the Asian fetish most guys we chat with seem to have, most everyone is trying to impress her with how he's gonna bend her over and fawk her so hard she'd be sore. News flash, she delivered 3 babies and can take a 10" dildo or a small fist; she wasn't a virgin when I met her and she'd had great lovers before me. There's nothing really that she didn't experienced before. We play as a couple and to us, we come first. We're not looking to find other spouses so sorry if we don't care what your favorite flavor of ice cream is.
So you know how to spell and how to write; that doesn't make hand you the keys to my vehicle?!
So try and understand that if and when we'd allow a single man into our lives it will be for the solely purpose of fawking. The lucky guy like it or not would be more or less a tool. I test people in ALL aspects of my life, trust is a thing that's earned, some do, some don't(earn it). You probably failed a test and never even knew it. As much as it might hurt your feelings, you weren't owed an explanation!!!!!!
Now cry me a river then build me a bridge.......... |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Point is, this gentleman is leaving the site. He was just expressing his thoughts and personal experiences. If you look at the OP, he did not attack anyone....just his lifestyle experiences here. If there was a personal attack, then I am confident that the post would have been deleted as Forum Rules do not allow personal attacks.... lively discussions and disagreements yes, but not an attack calling someone out.
Personally if I see a discussion getting heated in reference to myself I ask the person to take it to email as it would not be appropriate to have a pissing contest out in the open :)
Sharon :love: |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
"magiriano And your point is?"
The point is in your post you have amply demonstrated exactly the behavior of some to whom I referred in my original post. If you would have read it and the entire thread, you would have known that. If anyone is being eager to "attack" someone, it looks to me like it's you being eager to attack me or anyone else that you have in your sights who coincidentally happens to be a member of a stereotyped group that has somehow ruffled your personal feathers. My goodness get a grip on reality before you haul off and blast away like that. Or don't -- it doesn't matter. My original post wasn't about me being a "poor" single guy, so why don't you get over it? Seems like it is bothering you more than it bothers me. I don't see myself that way at all and if you do, it's only because you choose to, which happily is your option.
Sharon is correct in her reply to you on what my original post was about. Being the classy and gracious lady she is, she understands that along with many others on ST, including those couples who wrote me personally asking me not to leave, many of whom I had never seen in the forums or anywhere before.
Like I said in my previous post, it is time for me to move on. But rest assured I am not leaving because of any humorous attempt at a tongue-lashing such as exhibited by magiriano in what he/she/they wrote. Nobody can equal the tongue-lashings I took from my old-country Italian mother when I was growing up -- so any insults you'd like to throw my way will be taken with less than a grain of salt. On the other hand, I value and appreciate your opinions and criticisms.
Thanks again. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
What are the forums coming to? The man made a farewell post, somewhat like an exit interview and some of the responses have been childish as well as confrontational. I feel that the points he made in his opening statement have only been validated by such responses.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
I guess I have what you would call mild ADD for when they get too long I loose focus,but any how if the man is not happy here and he just stated why then let him be. We all know of each other some what by our conversations so just let him go it's too bad he didn't receive what he expected but that is just life,as I said before good luck in where you take yourself..SugarBear.. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Well I for one, am not sure why this thread was even started! Of course we all thank those that we have corresponded with us! Why would a single male say, 'Farewell, thanks, and goodgye' By the way it's Goodbye! Sorry if ST wasn't for him, but we have made a lot of friends here!! Some are better friends with benefits than others!
A farewell post? What the heck is an exit interview? I don't feel like a single male/woman needs to state their reason for leaving ST. That's just the way I look at it at, right or wrong!!!
Wow! What are the forums coming to?? Does this mean everyone on ST needs to state why they are leaving? I think not!!!! Just my thoughts!
Shirley |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Being new to this site I found Jer's experience to be a bit frightening. Jer, thank you for sharing this with us all. I'm not certain I wish to belong to a community that is close minded, exclusive, and not on the up and up. Just joining, I wanted to hear of others experiences and so far haven't heard anything positive. So again, Jer, thank you. You saved me money, time and sanity. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Hello bunnyhop. :welcome to ST and the forums.
I too am a single male. I have met 2 couples that are here. Also a couple that are swing, Club owners. I have met them in person. I just did not find then here. I met them all before I joined ST. There is another couple here that I met here that twice now things got in the way. They go to the South Denver Social. It meets every two weeks. I will meet them, even if it's not a date.
Jerry seems like a nice guy. I've been seeing him in forums for many months now.
I've been avoiding this. I don't think you should base an opinion on a post. The forums are for talking about things in or about the Lifestyle. We all have opinions, sometimes no one agrees.
(Please my friends) In my opinion Jerry does not have the mind set to be in the Lifestyle.
He is nice. He is smart. I think he may have tried to hard.
bonnyhop there is more to ST then one person or his experiences here.
B Bopp
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RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
The purpose of an exit interview is to gather employees' feedback on the work experience in order to improve working conditions......."What are the forums coming to?" There are more confrontations than laughs these days and members who say one thing and do another when it benefits them..... I think any member has the right to post in an open forum what they choose to, within the regulations of course;
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
I would not leave due to one persons bad experiences here. I started as a single male here and I met the love of my life here who was a single woman on this site (cutelilgirl). I was treated respectfully by most people here that I have a lifetime membership. The ones that were not to nice to me I chose to ignore. You are not going to get along with everyone here. It is the same way out in the big bad world. I found that it is best to state your opinions or your wishes and wants here and then see what it leads to. Its a shame to see Jerry go. He and Sharon have enjoyed a few spirited conversations between them and he was always respectful to her. I hope you hang around for awhile and check us out. Hope to see more of your posts in the forums. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
We agree with coolbrzz, bunnyhop- do not let the opinions of one person's experience here taint your curiosity. Check things out, talk to people and go to some events. There is so much available and to learn. When we owned a club before and hosted parties we'd hear from others"...oh, we never met anyone or do anything..." Come to find out most never got out from behind the computer to actually experience anything. We emjoy everything the lifestyle has to offer, and for us it goes way beyond just having sex with other people. Hope you guys stay around for a while, we think you'll enjoy it!! |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Very well said Todd, I totally agree!! :clapping:
kisses
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Thanks Gin. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Welcum Sweetie!!!
kisses
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Came threw Columbia this mourning at 3 am. Bet you were sleepin then. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Well hells bells Sweetie, yep I was sleeping but had I known you were passing through I would have been up with the coffee brewing and a hot breakfast for you.
Did you wave anyway? :lol:
kisses
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Very well said Todd
B Bopp |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
You know I did. But I did not have time to stop. Had to be in Atlanta by five. Now I'm here in Atlanta in this nice king bed all by myself. Oh well, i'll have to resort to my faverite past time. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Thanks B Bopp. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Awwwwww, well ya know I could have been standing by the road wiff sleepy eyes holding your breakfast and coffee waiting on ya....maybe not a purdy sight that early in the morning but you would have breakfast in your belly :lol:......Poor Baby, take care of it Sugar and get some sleep!!!!
kisses
Gin |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
I know what it's like, the long hours hours on the road. I never drove a big rig. Biggest was a split 10. I have covered many thousands of miles riding shotgun though. Long days and long nights, out on the road. |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Favorite pastime?
Sharon :love: |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
Every time he passes through I tell him to holla your name in hopes you'll hear him. I think he'd shitbricks if someone actually yelled back "here i am" lol
Sharon :love: |
RE: Farwell, thanks, and goodgye.......
lmao Sharon, that would be hilarious, thinking of ways to make that happen lmao
kisses
Gin |
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