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Thought Provoking Question
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Thought Provoking Question
Would you consider roleplaying out a rape fantasy with partner who asked you to? |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I would consider any fantasy my partner brought forth that he would like to try. I would discuss exactly what he was looking for in the fantasy in his role and mine then I would ponder for a few days before dicussing again and making a decision. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
ok i have a fantasy about being raped myself but if its wanted is it really rape ive always heard you cant rape the willing so does that mean i cant be raped
Rob |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Role playing of any kind can be hot. Role playing means both parties are involved in the decision. I've always heard you can't rape the willing. lol But maybe that means you just got to try harder to play the part. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
All I can say if this is your fantasy, Go ahead and act it out. Don't let anyone talk you out of it just because the word rape is in it. I provided this fantasy to a woman several years ago and it turned out ok. Why, One reason was because she wanted it, Second reason was because she trusted me. We must not forget the differences between role playing and rape. A good idea is to have a safe word to use if things get out of hand. In the end, all it equates to. Is some aggresive sex. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I find the word, Rape, in it self, offensive. It is not a Game I would play, just for the fun of it. I would need to KNOW the partner or partners VERY well. Even then, it would be only a maybe.
Rape imply's violence. There are other was to give up control or total control that don't. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I have had this conversations with many friends, and suprisingly this is many woman's fantsay. It is the not act of being raped that people are looking for, but the rough sex, with a man who takes charge. Throws them on the bed, rips off their clothes with a extream sexual thrist. Pinning them down with one hand and choking them with another as them appease their sexual appetite.
Personally...with someone you trust, it is a lot of fun.
It is with consenting adults, there for, not rape. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
No i would not. John |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Very big difference between "rape" and "rape fantasy". We've discussed this many times because it's something she wants to experience. What appeals is being suddenly taken by surprise and to have it *seem* like she has no control over what happens. We've even discussed having me line up someone unknown to her do it and when he grabs her, gruffly tell her "your safeword is xxxxx" so that she'd know I'd set it up. But then again, just as there's a big difference between "rape" and "rape fantasy", there's a big difference between discussing it and acting out.
It all comes down to the exact same thing as all others: if it's what works for you and everybody consents, go for it. But if it doesn't work for you for whatever reason, sit this one out. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I don't feel being a DOM has anything to do with participating in a rape fantasy. I also disagree with the statement that it has no place in the swinger lifestyle and that there is a hole other lifstyle for that sort of thing.
Having a rape fantasy doesn't mean you are into BDSM or anything else considered fetish. I have also found that there is a great overlap between the fetish community and swinging. I have a friend who is a DOM by trade and has been in the lifstyle for over 10 years.
I don't believe it is for anyone to say what is and is not classified as swinging, I have found that each couple I meet lives the lifestyle a little differently and most couples find that what they seek from swinging changes over time.
I feel the forum should be a place where you can openly express a desire or curiousity without being told it doesn't belong here.
I do agree with the poster who said the fantasy is not really about rape but more about being aggressively taken and letting yourself enjoy certain things you may not let yourself under normal circumstances. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Nobody is calling it rape. It's rape *fantasy*. If you try calling it anything else, how can you possibly explain what you're talking about without using the word "rape"?
You are right Gary, rape is a violent act without consent. But the whole idea of a fantasy is to pretend you are doing something which you wouldn't actually do. Like if your partner puts on a wig and hot slutty clothes, and you both go to a bar and pretend not to know her, and you pretend she is a prostitute and you are hiring her. She's not really a prostitute and you're not really some john. But it's a prostitution fantasy. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Excelent comparison. Also with the Dom issue there would be no discussion. Role playing and the Dom lifestle are 2 toatally different ball games. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Everyone's views are going to be different. Just like in the choking thread I had a little while ago. Some people agreed it was hot and a turn on. While others were down right against it. "this" is all about doing what feels good to us. It changes with everyone. As long as there are no laws being broken, and everyone in consenting just have fun with it!
And speaking of.....I could sure go for a choking and man handled right now......Mmmmmmm |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
You bring up a great point Babs! "It is with consenting adults, therefore not rape" and that is right on the money. RAPE is a term used to describe an act that is committed that incorporates a sexual event when one person uses power and control over another. What makes RAPE wrong is when it is done against the other parties wishes, when they do not WANT it. RAPE fantasies are a way in which a person whom wants to hand over their control to another person and allow them to use them as they wish... and to me that is fine as long as there is a safe word just incase they need it.
Sharon |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
BDSM does incorporate a lot of the Dominance, Power and Control. But they also frown upon illegal activities including Rape. The difference in the criminal act of Rape and the Rape Fantasy is one requires permission, while the other takes it away.
Sharon |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Ok, to all the sane people out there that have a "rape fantasy":
Ladies, dress in some skimpy clothes and go for a walk on a dark alley. Guys, get arrested/convicted of domestic abuse, rape of child molesting. Your fantasies will come true.
Rape is sick, being dominated is a totally different dish. BDSM happens within a set of rules, rape is just that, a forceful act performed on a unwilling party.
Gary: about going DUTCH: it sucks. All our friends know the rule: who's inviting is paying, simply because if I invite you to Red Lobster and you're broke you're gonna decline if the rule is that we go dutch. We always pay when we invite friends out and they pay if they ask us to join them, simply because not everyone has the same disposable income. We ask to go for steak, we pay all around, you ask us to go for burger you better pay the table or we'll be too busy to ever go out with you again.
And on a first date we go for coffee so nobody will break the bank. If you're ever invited to our house and you decide that our wine might not suit you, the bottle of wine you're bringing over better be something we can't get at the corner store. We always have red, white, beer, vodka and brandy and we're not accustomed to the BYOB that seems to be a fad here. The sure way to not ever be invited over will be to show up with a 6 pack or bring food over without asking if we're ok with it. We don't eat roadkill or drink vinegar in our home and if our food or drinks aren't good enough for you then you shouldn't come over. Just different customs.
I agree tho that we do pay for sex - I mentioned once to a friend that life revolves around BJ's, he wondered why, and told him: u get a bonus, u get the bj, get promoted, get the bj, wash the cars- get the bj; help her parents/ buy a car/shoes/purse/dress/vacation - here comes the bj. Loose your job and get behind on the bills/mortgage/ NO BJ.
This entire topic is sick, seriously, wanna get raped get yourself sent to jail/prison......... |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I always go dutch...PERIOD. I am not going on a "date" in my opinion, I am meeting with friends. The only person who pays for my food is my husband. Nothing worse then a man inviting me out for a fancy meal that costs a fortune and NOT expect something out of it. As for BYOB....it if is a large house party...that is ok. Going to someone's house for supper..I bring a bottle of wine as a gift ( sometimes red and white if I dont know what is for supper). I guess everyone has their own way of doing things. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I have done this fantasy, once. For us, it was roll reversal. She was my dominant, but not my Domme, BDSM. For no better words, we called it, the rape fantasy. There are no better words to describe this fantasy. And we are talking, Fantasy.
Until we find a different name for this fantasy, it will keep coming up every 3 or 4 months.
There is a lot of information here. Good information.
Lets not get angry because we disagree with the topic, a post, or poster.
B Bopp
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RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I'm at the Best Western in Goodletsville Tn tonite Babs. Hop a plane and I'll hook you up with what you need. By the way, Did I tell you I have some nice big hands. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I would love to hear Mulie's opinion on all of these posts. Have we answered any of your questions? |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
As I said, different customs. We always ask before we bring anything to a party, Mediterranean people get easily offended if they think you refuse their hospitality.
And we take turns with our friends about the bill, if they'd go Dutch we just won't keep them around, we just don't seem to like people that keep tabs. We had an acquaintance that will take out a calculator to pay her meal/tax and tip. We dropped her.
Never liked the idea of BYOB I had a shock when I first encountered it in '98 in Winnipeg, was invited to a party, wasn't told is a BYOB, didn't had a clue about Canadians and their beer issues, so I just got a beer from the fridge, next thing I know I'm being tapped on the shoulder by the guy that brought that particular beer. Gave the guy 5 bucks and left the party.
It is your custom and I live here so I accept it, but I don't like it, I find it in poor taste, when I throw a party then I make sure there's plenty of everything. Just the rules of hospitality. If you bring your own stuff is no longer a party it's a potluck. And we don't do potlucks.
When we visit friends they cater to us and so do we when they're visiting us.
|
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I think that even in the swinging lifestyle where being open minded is a blessing, lines must be drawn. I'm sure many people have a school girl fantasy but what if it were called "a child molestation fantasy?" Hopefully many of you would think of it as disgusting, just as I feel about a rape fantasy.
In the vanilla world swingers are already viewed as child molesting, drug abusing cheaters without morals, let's not add rapists to the list......name it something else!
Thanks for sticking to your views Gary :clapping:
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Using "Terms" for description in any setting can be a difficult thing, but for some purposes it is necessary. Can you imagine if "Pimp and Hoe's"night was taking out of context? We'd have SWAT knocking on the door!
RAPE is one of THE most difficult terms to handle in any context because it is a violent act that is not able to be downplayed. We even have agencies that do not want to call it "Rape Crisis Hotline" as they want to sugarcoat things and call it a "Sexual Assault Hotline" instead. Now you ask a victim, they will SAY they were raped..not sexually assaulted, so which term would you think should be used if a persons looking for help? There are so many directions to go with this, you'd be surprised.
Thing is....when it comes to this discussion, all have to learn to listen the others perspective, respect it, but stick to our own firm beliefs. I think if we had this discussion face to face versus online it would be a more productive and less heated one than what we've seen.
Sharon |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I am truly offended with the statements made in this post.... I have never heard of any of these terms used by Vanilla folks to describe a swinger except for "Cheater". I have read many books, threads, and forums both online and offline and have been to many gatherings as well with not a hint of any of these terms.
It is this close minded, unwavering, and too judgmental attitudes that truly close the doors for many people whom are looking to act out and fulfill fantasies.
Sharon
|
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
So I suppose we need to stop using other terms such as Anal Sex, Bi-sexual/Homosexual, and Exhibitionism, and many other terms we commonly use because they all represent illegal activities in most states?
In the right environment, these activities are welcomed.... Can you imagine how dull your parties would be without any or all of these activities occurring?
Sharon
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RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I have had way too many debates with those who do not agree with swinging and the labels stated above with others added are always presented. To convince a non swinger to see our views is pointless, either you get it or you don't. Check out many of the vanilla forums and or chat rooms and simply state that you are a swinger, you will see these labels as well as the hatred presented.
I was speaking face to face with an acquaintance yesterday concerning the lifestyle and his point of view is that any man whom shares his wife with another man or woman is not only disrespecting their marriage but disrespecting his wife as a Lady. I certainly do not agree but it was nice to have a conversation with a mature minded individual that simply does not agree with swinging and does so without being nasty or rude.
I can see both sides and can understand how those who do not understand can become lost in debate.
As far as the term "rape" it's extremely negative and causes too many way too much pain. I do not view the term lightly outside of the lifestyle and certainly not in it.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Those terms are not a leading offense in our country against anyone. Visit your local prison and get a show of hands of how many are kept from society because of those terms and then a show of hands of how many are locked away because of a rape crime. Of course most criminals think they are not guilty so probably no show of hands but you get my point.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
A victim also knows that the act was done "against her will" and could not be controlled, she had NO say in it while the event occurred. That is not what happens in a Fantasy, the person wants it and consents to it. I will so hate to burst the bubble, but a School Girl fantasy is more likely to happen illegally than the other one you spoke of!
Life experiences play a major factor in how we all perceive things, and I know that because of mine I can see a broader perspective than most on this issue. The one major dynamic I think we all need to remember that we are all entitled to feel the way we do, but should not force or coerce or demean another person for their opinions.
I can understand Gary.... trust me I've been through the gambit of situations as you have, and boy I could tell you some stories! (And you are always welcomed to come into my email and ream my ass out or vent there)
Sharon |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
It's not the Rape your after it's the need for a domanant partner. Change your apperance like a wig or mask and get some old cloths that you will be willing to rip and tare and just have some plain old rough sex. Everyone craves this once in a while and change it up if it's the man that wants you to be the "Dominant" swich it up next time let him be the dominant my husband do it all the time and it scratches that "itch" shall I say. The key is to be the in comand person tell him to get on the bed if it's hard to do at home rent a hotel room for the night. They usualy always give you two cards for the door. I also think it's the rush of not knowing what is comming next so get some fuzzy handcuffs and tie him to a chair or a soft rope that wont leave a burn. Blind folding is always a good one too, just don't be afraid to give orders.
daveandcrys |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Yeah, judgemental is exactly what I've been thinking. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Unfortunately Gin, there ARE rapists in the swingers community. Let's not forget about date rape drugs being used at parties - some of the stories on SB will made your skin curl - pushy people, people that will pressure others into having sex. The reason we don't play at clubs is because Lulu almost got raped at the club, a guy tried to force himself bareback into her butt even after her repeated and clear NO's. That is attempted rape in my book, and it's not just the physical act that hurts, dealing with the fact that we allowed ourselves to be in that situation was a tough pill to swallow.
Rape is wrong on so many levels that I firmly believe that torture should be brought back from the dark ages just for that. Child molestation is worst, don't know why the state would waste money on a trial when someone commits an act like that they're no longer humans and they should be killed on site just like dawgs. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
fantasy |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Gary,
We are still new at swinging and have yet to attend a house party. I assume that there's several couples and single people that are not necessarily close friends. That will require that everyone participate being a nominal fee for supplying the food/drinks/supplies, helping with the cleaning, etc.
I was referring to going with a vanilla couple for dinner or having a BBQ. Our workers eat lunch and sometimes dinner on me, I just wanna make sure they don't work on an empty stomach. I buy 1-2 24's of beer every week even tho I don't drink beer. Between my guys, tennants, guests, neighbors, it's usually gone and I have to take out my wine or brandy sometimes. We have 4 kids and always cook extra food because we never know who's gonna drop by and most everyone likes a home cooked meal. We preserve a lot in the fall and we offer canned goodies to everyone, from clients to the garbage collector. It makes his day, everyone like to feel appreciated for their effort at work. With our close friends we made it clear from the start, that since nobody has the same disposable income at the same time, if they want to have dinner with us to assume we're broke or we have other plans with our money at that point, and only invite us out if they can pay their entire bill and we will do the same. So the rule is who's inviting is paying, and, it works for us. Same with BBQ's, some of our friends love cooking burgers and hotdogs, and most Canadians do not BBQ, they grill. We are known for a mean TX style smoked BBQ. Since we marinate the meats for 2-3 days and cook them for hours, a fresh cut of the best steak they'd bring over will pale compared to our meats, so we ask people not to bring anything, except maybe cake. And we don't take anything to their places except for cake or preserves, honey, feta cheese and olive oil if I happen to recently have brought some from my home in the old country. And we have friends we love to eat at, some make a great burger, some make the best Trinidadean food ever and we alyas go there on Christmas, and there's an aunt that can't cook worth a damn so we eat before we go there..
Basically it's a give and take, we are all different and that's why we like other's company. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
yes it is not rape it's not the violence persay it is the surprise aspect and not knowing what to expect next. It is totaly and utterly the hole feeling you get by being tide to the bed or being told what to do. It is donination that the person craves so get out the cuffs and rope and tie them up and be the dominant person wheather or not you put the name rape to it in your own privicy is your thing if it turns you on so be it. My husband tells me he wants me to wake up in the middle of the night and rape him all the time but by that being said he is just wanting me to surprise him by waking him up and haveing sex with him nothing more nothing less, and in the dark you can't realy see eachother. But more just dominance, rough sex, and the surprise aspect. Sneek up in the shower that works too it gets your adrenaline pumping same as if you were on a rollacoster lol but just rember to have fun with it
daveandcrys <3
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RE: Thought Provoking Question.
You made me hungry lol =) |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
very well said
daveandcrys
|
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Would anyone want a DP fantasy without the DP? Well ummmmm a Rape fantasy as you all state does not involve violence or forcing against will sooooo there is no rape.
Why call a fantasy something that it isn't?
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I do agree, and that is something I was thinking about a few hours ago. Thinking about my own posts, and then having a meet and greet tonight with other ST members. So FOR THE RECORD.....I only have rough sex with husband, because he is safe....LOL...Just had to get that out there... |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I agree.
English is a stupid language, since you love the dog or a 18 V Lithium battery Makita cordless drill with the exact same word you love a newborn or your bride. Rape fantasy is just wrong, maybe forcefully fucked will be a better choice of words?
Lulu and I had forceful sex/ hate fucking, after a great argument. And you haven't seen fighting until you'd see a stubborn tiny Filipina fighting with a hot headed Italian. I'ved seen the Jewish - Italian arguments and they're nothing. Probably a Turkish/Greek argument will be a close match.
She didn't said NO, cried or struggled to get away - she just scratched my bach to shreds, bitted me till she drew bold then got on top of me and gave me the fuck of my life. Was it rape tho? No, it was awesome hate fucking or forceful sex. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Hey....a girl can never be too careful!!!...lmao |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Many people go to medieval fantasy fairs. They pretend to be in the dark ages. No matter that there's an ATM instead of the black plague. How could you describe it other than as "medieval fantasy"?
You know what, though, I am really amazed how anyone on this site can decide that someone else's fantasies are somehow sick, insane or wrong. You let your partner fuck someone else. Everyone knows that's sick, insane and wrong. I've seen some real judgemental posts, not just on this topic but on many. Bottom line: to each his/her own. Maybe this topic should have been called "knee jerk provoking question". |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
"Medievil adventures" sounds good to me! I consider a "rape fantasy" to be disgusting because the term can touch others in a very negative way and actually seems to make a fantasy out of what ruins so many lives, I do not take it lightly. Swinging involves Tony and I and whom we swing with and others may find it to be disgusting for their taste but it would not touch them in a way rape could.
My problem is not with the fantasy but with it being called "rape fantasy" as it simply is not rape unless of course much violence and no free will is involved.
Think of an action that could touch your life in a very negative way, something that you would consider to be life altering and very traumatic. Then consider that someone has a fantasy of that happening to them.
Sorry y'all, my opinions are strong on this!
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
None of the medieval fantasy fair patrons would really want to live in the dark ages. It was not really fun living as a peasant in poverty subject to the whims of the king. It was no fun having a huge portion of the population die from the black plague. People lived with starvation, disease, oppression, rape (google "prima nocte"). How do you think THAT would touch you? Nobody would pay to go to a fair that truly represented these conditions. They go to a fantasy place where it's all "m'lord" and "m'lady" and drinking the king's ale and fake sword fights and jousting. It's a medieval fantasy.
It's the same thing here. People with a rape fantasy don't really want to be raped. They want the adrenelin rush and thrill from the initial surprise and fear followed by the release when it becomes obvious it is their loving partner doing something special for them. They want to take that rush and transmute it into passion. Then comes the abandonment of self and submission to the situation.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions on everything. But to decide that what turns someone else on is sick because you share that particular kink... well that sounds a bit judgemental and close minded. We've all got likes and dislikes. It seems to me that it would be best if only the "likes" participated in any given discussion. For example, if I were to start a topic about how hot I find hirsute women, I don't want to hear from people who believe all women should be shaved telling me how disgusting a hairy pussy and armpits are. I want to hear from others who share that particular like. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Q: Why call it "hate fucking"? You don't hate each other and you don't hate fucking.
A: You call it "hate fucking" because that's what it is. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
(sorry about the slew of comments, keep thinking of things to add)
I guess my post above doesn't really apply here because this topic is based on the question "would you consider..." rather than a topic exploring it. This topic makes sense for both likers and dislikers, but if someone starts a topic about exploring rape fantasies, dislikers please avoid. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
It's all in the choice of words.
I once told Lulu, after we started swinging that I always make love to a woman and she's the only one I ever fucked. That got me into a sh!tload of hot water.
However, in luck of a better way of expressing what I meant it is true. I just like taking the time to please and make a woman squirm vs bending her over and rubbing my dick in her pussy. I like licking and fingering a lady until she begs to be taken and then make her loose track of herself.
And with Lulu, sometimes I just wanna bend her over and just fuck her until I cum, with complete disregard for her orgasm, using her as my own sex toy.
I would only do that to her, because there's also times when she'll get all the attention and at 5 o'clock in the morning I end up exhausted falling asleep in the wet spot.
That's still a touchy subject with her. Yet she's still the only one I'd ever fuck.
English is a stupid language, we need to rewrite the dictionary.......... |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Medieval times was an era in history, a way of life, rape is not!! As Gary stated, one must be careful as to what they ask for, I am a firm believer in Karma.
What one chooses to enjoy is just that, their choice and one should not be judged, I'm simply trying to understand how one can have a fantasy of which the title has nothing to do with the action. Also how one can even consider obtaining pleasure from what so many have been destroyed by.
A good example would be a 9/11 fantasy where one receives pleasure out of the thought of having sex with a terrorist in the Trade Center before it was destroyed.......this is totally sick, just as I feel rape is.......make me understand how this is okay!
Smooches,
Gin
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RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Because for an instant, it is rape. At least until the "victim" realizes it's not. It's all in the rush. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
My post was not pointed at you, Gary, nor any one person.
B Bopp |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
In the 60's a couple of reporter's started to interview, on tape, swingers and their life style. At that time, they were all thought to be, child abusers, drugy's, cheaters, and to be with out morals.
Remember, this was the 60's. Lots of people did drugs, even swingers. For a 30, 40, 50, year old, to be caught with a 18 year old was thought to be child molesting. Any couple having sex, besides with their mate, was a cheater. And, all in the lifestyle, had no morals.
With some, those in the lifestyle, are still thought of the same way.
B Bopp
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RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I've been checking and reading the post on this subject, I also believe rape is a crime. I would explain it as rough sex taking charge man handling your partner kinda like just pretending to take it from her or her taking it from him. lol I don't know it seems to be a fine line there just depends on how far you are willing to cross it or your partner lets you go,if someone wants to feel like they are being raped that's just their thing.. SugarBear.. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I can definitely see the generational affect. That truly puts a twist on things, as in the 60's there was a LOT of things that were misconstrued!
Sharon |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Why even for an instant would someone want to know what it feels like being raped? A victim? Not even and I'm sure those whom are real victims would find this to be a slap in the face. I totally understand the fantasy and certainly can relate to the arousal of feeling vulnerable but to be raped, I can't understand that mind set.
Smooches,
Gin
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
lmao, double smooches for you Sweetie!!!
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Luv ya Sugar!!!
:bigkiss:
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
It's people taking a word or act and making it mean, something it isn't.
B Bopp |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
It's good to hear your voice, again, Gin
Hugs & Kisses
B Bopp |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Because fear can be delicious and that only happens if it feels real for a moment. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Many couples live out a DP fantasy without having 2 men involved. You don't have to open yourselves up to another to live out this fantasy. The world of toys is a wonderful thing. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
What you discuss privately with your partner as was stated in the original post would not be shared with your neighbours.
I also have personal history on the subject and do not get offended by the intentions of the fantasy. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I must disagree, people are raped all the time without any violence at all. Drunk, drugged, family member, just plain scared the list could go on and on. The word "rape" is being taken against your will which does not necessarily mean by force. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
FWIW, I used to throw festivals and my official title was "instigator".
But no, I'm not laughing. I'm very serious. Anyone who's been in a situation where there is a strong chance death is imminent knows that brings on intense clarity and makes you feel more alive than you ever have. It is a similar thing with rape fantasies. For a moment that fear exists and is very real. There's a huge adrenalin rush, clarity and that feeling of "never been more alive". Then is the realization that you are safe but that NBMA feeling persists. What an awesome state in which to have sex!
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RE: Thought Provoking Question.
You can certainly bet your sweetness that if someone was forcing me against my will, I would fight back thus violence would be involved. Rape is rape no matter how you slice it!!!
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Toys or the real thing, either would be DP!
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I say go for it if that is what you choose but noooo not my idea for having sex!
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Thanks Sweetie Pie and the same to you Sugar!!!
:bigkiss:
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I understand the concept and agree but my fear would come from a place that would not mock a trauma suffered by a real victim.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
As simple as, BOO! It might get you a black eye, BUT that next kiss can be a rush! So full of shaky passion.
Some things, you just can't explain. I have no words for this. (A few seconds of my life.) Someone said my name. It was in the tone of the voice! The world stopped, no, moved in slow motion. I could see everything in front of me. EVERY movement. My heart should of burst from my chest. It thundered in my ears. Yet could hear sounds I shouldn't. I was compelled to turn to that voice. The room was frozen, behind her, the voice.
It was the first couple of seconds of a fantasy being fulfilled. Fear,oh ya! Maybe terror!! But my lust was equal if not greater.
This is in a room with 30 or more people.
This topic is about a fantasy. It always ends up about a 4 letter word! The Word, it is a nasty, ugly word!!!! This nasty 4 letter word, in this case, is a descriptive word, to try to describe a fantasy.
B Bopp
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RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Thank you Steve and I do understand the full concept of an adrenaline rush but for me, fear doesn't work with intimacy. The word used to name this fantasy provokes anger, disgust and empathy for those whom have been traumatized, anything but arousal. Even if I became aroused at the thought of being ravished in such a manner, calling this fantasy as such would shatter my excitement.
kisses
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
And are medieval fantasy patrons mocking all those who died of the black plague? Nobody is mocking anything. |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
I know it would, and doesn't.
Both you and Gary have said this very plainly and in great detail. I respect you both, very much, for your point of view.
But this topic is not about, The Word, it is about the adrenaline rush, About being dominated.
Most will never act this out. Some may act this out and the reality will shatter the fantasy and kill the excitement forever. This Word is not a game, but the fantasy is.
KISSES
B Bopp
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RE: Thought Provoking Question.
Those victimized would not see it this way and as I said that era was a way of life including good and bad but rape is a single nagative act.
Smooches,
Gin |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
No way... I don't think something like rape should be something to use to eplease you or your partner ..it just doesn't seem right |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
That is why you change it to the roll of DOMINANCE it is then not "rape" and throw in the aspect of surprise. You don't have to play it out if it bothers you and you don't have to play it out if someone tells you that you should or shouldn't do it but because it pleases you. But the act of rape alone is not that of good remembering so I would suggest the dominance roll along with some blind folds and handcuffs and make that other person wait and sweat before you actually touch them in anyway leaving them in suspense will make it that much better for them when you do finally make your move.
I’m also adding a definition of rape
Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or with a person who is incapable of valid consent
I think what your partner craves is and correct me if I'm wrong
A small amount of physical force - (eg) pushes himher on the bed, or makes them get undressed
Coercion - is the practice of forcing another party to behave in an involuntary manner (whether through action or inaction) by use of threats, rewards, or intimidation or some other form of pressure or force. In law, coercion is codified as the duress crime. Such actions are used as leverage, to force the victim to act in the desired way. - TEASE them (eg) when they do something you want them to do take off one piece of clothing
And last but not least -- abuse of authority-- (eg) Have sex in your car in a parking lot at night where it's not too obvious but there is that chance you could get caught, or if your adventurous do it in a public bathroom in a night club or gas station, some place where you could get caught that makes it exciting, I'm getting excited just writing it lol. Hope you have fun trying it if you do and that goes for everyone.
Lots of hearts
DaveandCrys |
RE: Thought Provoking Question.
A rape fantasy is, as its name suggests, a fantasy about rape. It can go both ways like men who fantasize about raping, or women who fantasize about being raped. Surprisingly enough, the latter is much more common. Probably, someone who has been raped will never understand why anyone else will have a fantasy about it. Rape fantasies occur in both the male and female sexual fantasy realms, and their contents range from unwilling seduction to violent, forceful sex. The most commonly held theory about this phenomenon is that many individuals turn to fantasies about being raped as a means of reconciling naturally-occurring sexual desires with the intense negative stigma their culture or creed affix to sexual activity. The fantasy serves as a psychological device through which the fantasizer can safely indulge in intense sexual experiences without guilt, by absolving themselves of responsibility for participating in the act.
Rape fantasies can also represent an outlet for sexually submissive or dominant individuals. In such fantasies they can imagine themselves as having or lacking sexual control or power without actually participating in an illegal or immoral act. According to these socio biological theories of rape, rape fantasy fulfills a hereditary impulse in civilized society where real rape has become socially intolerable.
Fantasies are fantasies and unreal imaginations; but when it comes real life, no woman would like to undergo a rape, however sexually stimulated she is. Even though most women surrender themselves to male power when they are being raped, no woman goes in search of a rapist to be raped to fulfill the secret fantasies. |
[] [] [swingers]
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