New man in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Allosexual and proudly operating without the “must fall in love first” software. I’m basically your favorite side character with good looks and questionable timing. People have called me charmingly inappropriate which is a polite way of saying I say the things everyone’s thinking but with better delivery and slightly worse impulse control. I thrive on honest conversations, bad puns, and the kind of humor that gets you side eyed in public but secretly applauded in private. Emotional bonds are great but also, have you seen people? Some of them are just walking thirst traps and I am but a humble, enthusiastic observer. I don’t do small talk unless it’s absurd (ask me about the time I tried to flirt with the midget wrestler). My love languages include wit, eye contact that lasts half a second too long, and snacks. Probably not the hero of your story, but definitely the chaotic side character who steals every scene. Swipe right? No, swerve right. Let’s cause a little harmless trouble.

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